In networking, Givers succeed significantly by recognising potential in others. Helping people feels great. You can choose to help others without worrying about receiving something in return. So who comes out on top – the Takers, Matchers, or Givers? But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others. “Your network is your net worth.” – Tim Sanders. We constantly look for ways to fit in and stand out. The opposite style is called powerless communication, instinctively adopted by Givers, who tend to: Surprisingly, the dominant style of Takers doesn’t always serve them well, while the style of Givers proves effective in building prestige. Now matchers – looking for quid pro quo – will want to get even. Takers and Matchers suffer from a shortsightedness about networks. Want to know one habit highly successful people have in common? Oddly enough, by talking about themselves – their needs and wants etc. Being genuinely interested in your customer’s needs helps you build trust and goodwill. Think in terms of win-win. Give and Take by Adam Grant (Book Summary). Through strong networks, people over the centuries have gained invaluable access to knowledge, expertise, and influence. This becomes his reputation. Bottom line: Givers succeed partly because most people are matchers who value reciprocity and fairness. He gives to people even if he doesn’t see a way the other person could pay him back. Say thanks to the bus driver. Do you want your lawyer, doctor, dentist, teacher, plumber, and real estate agent to focus on contributing value to you, or claiming value from you? This helps them “activate” lots and lots of relationships and create a huge network of people who theoretically “owe them a favor”. The defining quality of a top pharmaceutical salesperson was being a giver. If they don’t contribute, they look stingy and selfish, and they won’t get much help with their own requests. Successful Givers are willing to give more than they receive AND have ambitious goals for advancing their own interests. You can choose to act as a giver. Take your time, put in some effort, and genuinely care for his or her well-being. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. *Note: This is important: You have one primary reciprocity style that you’ll use with most people most of the time. A giver will check his schedule and, if he’s free, gladly join you without thinking much about it. Teamwork becomes the norm. And most importantly, have his best interest in mind and do what’s best for him. They make everyone (including themselves) better off by making the group better off. Otherish givers: These are guys with high other-interest and high self-interest. Here are the main points we discussed in the article…. Let me introduce you to one of our favorite tools. There is an immense value in surrounding ourselves with stars. Your reciprocity style influences how successful you’ll be. Givers make themselves better off by making the whole group better off. But did you know that there’s another factor – your reciprocity style – that is just as important, if not more important? He quit university at the age of 21 after successfully making the leap to entrepreneurship. Most people are matchers. Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success by Adam Grant [Book Summary & PDF], 'Instead of trading value, aim to add value. That’s right, a matcher will punish you just for knowing you’ve been a taker with one of his friends, co-workers, or whoever. Guidelines is my eBook that summarises the main lessons from 33 of the best-selling self-help books in one place. Remember, you can choose how you show up in the world. 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